Review: Clash of the Titans (2010)

* out of four stars

If someone were to ask me which “Clash of the Titans” film I prefer more, I’d probably ask them if “Battlefield Earth” could be an alternative option. “Clash of the Titans” is bad, no matter what decade you’re in.

Here’s a list of everything I hated about this updated version: the faster-than-light storyline, which needed to stop and explain things every now and then but never cared to. The cheesy attempt at Shakespearian acting from Liam Neeson, Ralph Fiennes, Mads Mikkelson, Jason Flemyng and Sam Worthington. The effects, which would’ve looked pretty good in, say, 2003, but look cheesy in 2010. The one-note characters, including Zeus (Neeson), Perseus (Worthington), Io (Gemma Arterton), Hades (Fiennes) and several more. In fact, the only fascinating character was Draco, portrayed with wooden delivery by Mads Mikkelson. And then there’s the cameo of Owl-2D2, the golden robot owl from the original version. This appearance, used as a joke, takes away from the illusion and reality of the film and ultimately gets in the way of the scene. It’s stupid! Don’t do it!

The plot is the same as the original. Perseus, a demigod and son of God President Zeus, joins the fight between man and gods, taking sides with man. I think if any man found out he was the son of a god and therefore a god himself, he’d be pretty thrilled about it. Either that, or he would use this power to heal and ultimately save the human race. Perseus wants to kill the gods and wage war and inexplicably wants nothing to do with his heritage.

The costumes look ridiculous too. They’re always clean and neat with no holes or damages. And, all of the soldiers wear red t-shirts, something that wasn’t around in the time period of “Clash of the Titans.”

What this film needs most is a complete rewrite and a longer runtime, long enough to develop plot, characters and surroundings. This film is without a sense of awe, and doesn’t seem too inspired by anything. I hope this is the biggest disappointment of the year. Anything could be better than this.

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